Testimony of God’s Unfailing Love, Once Shattered and Broken (part 1)

I know how it feels when nobody cares. I have been there. I craved love so much that I would do almost anything for it. Growing up gets screwed up because of no love. The counterfeit will only soothe the soul temporarily.

I grew up in a house of glass where everything was cold and empty. I did not receive hugs or love of any kind. I longed to hear "I love you", but all I got was verbal abuse. I wanted to be held, but it was like I was invisible.

I had a miscarriage at 14. I then spent 1 year in the girls youth home when I got caught shoplifting. My mom told the judge she could not do anything with me which was true. I needed love and discipline. When I got out of the youth home, I ended up being charged for accessory to grand theft auto. How’s that for a first date? I did not see that one coming. I was going to clubs when I was 16 and in a wet t-shirt contest. I can't tell you how many times I can't remember anything about what went on at the party. I hope nothing embarrassing. I am probably better off not knowing and spare myself the self-humiliation. At the age of 18, I spent 5 months in the Women's Prison.

My mother is paranoid schizophrenic and unable to show or give any type of love. My father worked but did not know how either. I understand now they did the best they could.

I was 17 when I felt loved for the first time. My best friend's aunt took an interest in me. I remember the day she picked me up. We were sitting in her car in the Andy's parking lot when she started crying. She said she did not know how to reach me. No one had ever cried for me before. I felt loved and my whole life changed at that point.

Rejection scars the soul and cripples the emotions, but God's love heals the brokenness.

Little Girl Broken, Little Girl Healed

When she was a little girl

She was lost and confused

She longed to be loved and accepted

Everyone acted as though she didn't exist

No one ever seemed to care

She only got attention only when she got in trouble

Otherwise they did not know she was there

She went from straight A's to F's

She was tired of trying to impress

Nothing ever seemed to matter

Even when she done her best

Now she is all grown up and broken

She has to face the past

She spent years in denial

Painful memories buried deep

This little girl cries for vindication

This little girl cries for help

She never knew she had value

She never knew she had worth

It is time for reconciliation

That day has finally arrived

God will restore all that was stolen

God will restore all that was lost

She will find love at last

She will finally be accepted because

God is her one and only

God is her rescuing Prince

It doesn't matter how badly damaged

or how many broken pieces of her heart

Only God's love can restore and rescue

His love will make things right

Give Jesus the chance to romance

He will never disappoint

He longs for her invitation

He longs for her love

She doesn't have to be perfect

He loves her as she is

His love will make the difference

His love is all she needs

Malisa Hodges

Here My Cry

God, You are so gracious!
You have given me everything!
I raise my hands to You!
With my heart, I bask in Your presence.
Life is so hard without You!
I need You desperately!
Fill my heart with Your LOVE!
Let my life show how awesome You are!
I desire to be used by You!
I want the world to know You are the
Best Thing that has ever happened to me!
Hear my cry and restore me!
Heal my heart, my soul and my body.
Take me in Your Loving Arms,
hold me tight and never let go!